Freakboy, King of Cheese Freakbass, Freakvocals, General Freakdom FR EA KS TU FF Freakborn: Ever hear of the undead? Freakboy is the unborn. Freakparents: His mother was a hampster and his father smelt of elderberries Freakwife: None. Can't keep a woman interested for more than 10 minutes. Freakkids: None. (see above) Freakdigs: Holes in the yard in which to hide. Freakfavorite Pastime: Roughing up his hands while digging holes Freakleast Favorite Pastime: Moisturizing his rough hands Freak-mail: freakboy@ntj.com Interviewing Freakboy is a difficult task for anyone, as he doesn't like to be spoken to. However, since he will communicate graciously via sign language, You the Viewer are able to break out your "Freakboy to English Dictionary." You: So Freakboy, did you know that you look an aweful lot like Bill Gates? Freakboy: Words hurt! Words hurt! No words, don't talk! You [begin signing]: Sorry. So, how did you hear about NTJ? Freakboy: With my ears. You: I see. Freakboy: I hear. You: Were you familiar with their work before you met them? Freakboy: The wind. You: What? Freakboy: The wind. You: Yes, I heard you. Freakboy: Then why did you say 'what?' You: I didn't understand why you said 'the wind' Freakboy: I hear the wind. You: Ah... I see. Freakboy: ... and I hear. You: The wind? Freakboy: What? You: You hear the wind? Freakboy: That's a stupid question to ask as an interveiwer. Fresh out of school are we? You: No, I've been working... Freakboy: I heard their CD and thought it was great. We also had a mutual acquaintence. You: What? Freakboy: I heard their CD and thought it was great. We also had a mutual acquaintence. You: Yes, I heard you, but... Freakboy: Then why did you ask? You: You're not making sense. You are responding to a question I asked several minutes ago! Freakboy: Bill Kurtis Roooooles! You: Huh?!?! Freakboy: Dont you ever watch "Investigative Reports" on the Discovery Channel? You: Yes, but... Freakboy: Now that Bill Kurtis knows how to interview, by golly! You: He doesn't interview anyone, he is just the host. Freakboy: Are you calling me a liar? You: No, I just wanted to clarify... Freakboy: ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?!?! You: No, no, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to infer that at all. Freakboy: Discovery Channel Rules. Da Bears. You: Excuse me? Freakboy: Why, did you break wind? I thought I heard the wind... You: No, you said something about bears? Freakboy: No I didn't. You: Yes you did, I heard you. Freakboy: No you didn't You: Yes, I distinctively... Freakboy: Did not. You: I did to! Freakboy: Not. You: I did! Freakboy: Not. You: You are a Freakboy! Freakboy: What? You: You.. Freakboy: Are you talkin' to me? You: Well, I... Freakboy: I said, are you talkin' to me? You: I was just... Freakboy: ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?!?! You: Uh-oh. Freakboy: THEY CALL ME M I S T E R   F R E A K B O Y ! ! ! With that, Freakboy jumps up from his stationary position, and begins to frantically slap himself in the head. He fleas from the room, repeatedly screaming "Bugs, Bugs, Bugs!" Apparently the interview is over, so You The Viewer seeks shelter.